


Forward March

by lostchildofthenewworld



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Be your own white horse, F/M, Healing is needed, Leah makes friends with odd people, Volturi as Lawful Neutral, You can save yourself y'know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostchildofthenewworld/pseuds/lostchildofthenewworld
Summary: Leah makes a choice, where she chooses to fight. To fight for herself because no one else will, to save herself because she'll not be a victim of the universe, the gods, nor even her own ancestors. Leah moves forward.Starts after Eclipse.
Relationships: Canon Relationships (Twilight), Leah Clearwater/Demetri
Comments: 78
Kudos: 265





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This quarantine business had me going through the Twilight fandom and it brought me back memories. I love Elia Martell from ASIOAF and she was done dirty and then I thought of Leah Clearwater who was also treated like shit. 
> 
> I am a woman, a Black woman at that. These women got shitted on in their stories, and I just want to live in my own fantasy that they got away from their shit exes and made their own choices.

If there were any gods out there, then they must all be sadists; because that was the only plausible explanation Leah had as to why her life was the way it was.

Leah is not stupid, she knew the ‘whoa is me’ did not only happen to her, but she often wondered how much pain she would have to go through, how many betrayals before she finally saw the light within the darkness.

That the gods or deities must have a love for inflicting pain because Leah was constantly in pain, not the physical albeit that could be debated, but mentally and emotionally? She felt like she was constantly being choked, that the breaths she did take were borrowed and never sated her exasperated lungs.

The gods were cruel, she had decided.

The universe was cruel too.

Once she took on that mentality, well the pain became bearable. The pain she felt when the home she made with Sam had been taken from her, she swallowed it.

When Leah had invited her cousin, the sister of heart to stay in her home and learning that Sam broke up with her for Emily, she bit, and tore through it and swallowed it too.

When she found out that Emily would now be living in La Push, that was when she had been pushed into the abyss, the darkness engulfing her. She welcomed it at the time.

When Sam asked for his ring back, and her fingers trembled when she took it off, she swallowed it then too.

Because if there was nothing else Leah could do, it was taking the pain and burying it within herself. It was a shit way of coping, but Leah had grown so use to the pain that she was trying to cope anyway she could.

A wolf.

She turned into a wolf.

Good god.

Her father, dead.

Because she phased in front of him.

She killed her own father.

She saw into Sam’s mind.

He did not fight for her, for them.

She was alone in the pack.

An anomaly never seen before.

A freak.

As freaky as one could be when one turned into a wolf.

The gods had no mercy for Leah; therefore, she had no mercy for the pack.

Her snarkiness was a defense but they hated her for it. Because she encroached upon them, the lone female wolf in a pack of males who did not want her in their midst.

Having to sit in the home she formerly shared with her ex-fiancée now Alpha, the furniture she had picked out that had not been replaced by the new woman of the house. The universe was fucking sick and twisted and everyday was agony for Leah.

The stares.

The stares of judgement she got from her own community because they felt like she was some bitter harpy.

The bitch ex, who followed her ex around like a lost puppy.

Sadist, that’s what the gods were. What her ancestors were.

The community thought she was ruining Sam and Emily’s great love story, but did they not think she wanted to leave? That every time Sam issued an Alpha order, it was nothing but a whip across her back.

To have to bow and kneel before him, to prostrate herself…it disgusted her.

But she buried it too.

The only upside was that all of this happened after she completed her associates; she at least had some form of education but what good did that do when no one left the rez; where people remained where they were born, where she had to remain because she was now a protector.

Protector because a dumb human girl could not keep herself away from danger, so the life that Leah had thought she was going to live had ended up in smoke and the ashes of her dreams filled her mouth.

She swallowed that too.

It was just yesterday that Leah found out Sam proposed to Emily.

He used the ring she returned.

Leah did not bother showing up at the house to congratulate them.

If anything, she wanted to dance on their graves, because if the gods were sadist then she could be one too.

The first female wolf in Quileute history. That was where she began her research into wolves and the hierarchy, using her college I.D to visit the library to find anything to help her.

There was no way she could remain here and watch Sam and Emily live, to watch them marry and have kids. Because while Leah understood imprinting, it was the idea that Sam could have been anything Emily needed, a brother or a friend, but she needed a knight in armor.

Sam rescued Emily, but who rescues(d) Leah?

No one.

Even her mother wanted her to move on, but how could she when she was constantly bombarded by the reminders of what was once hers, of what could have been?

Leah knew she could not fight a war on two fronts, the pack and herself.

How could she heal herself when the environment she was in was not suited for healing?

No, the chains that bonded her to the pack would be broken. There had to be a way and she would find it.

Which led her to where she was at now, Forks Hospital – looking for a certain golden eyed doctor.

Leah had dressed in some of her better clothes, as she walked up to nurse’s station. There was no way she could have gone to his home, but the hospital was neutral territory so alas, here she was.

“Hello, I am looking for Dr. Cullen.” She kept her voice low and welcoming, a false smile on her face.

Something she was getting very good at.

After waiting for five minutes, the doctor she was looking for strolled into the hall obviously surprised to see a Quileute wolf in his hospital.

“Leah, what a surprise to see you here.”

Before maybe his whimsical voice would get on her nerves, but she simply nodded her head, collecting the backpack she brought as she stood up.

“Dr. Cullen, I was wondering if we could speak in private.”

Because what she had to say was not for outside ears.

He looked at her again, before nodding his head and led them towards his office, Leah was not surprised to find the hospital so empty. Forks was a boring town after all.

When they entered his office, he closed the door and lifted his hand to offer her a seat and he sat down behind his desk. Obviously waiting for her to speak, but she did not speak, instead she pulled out her switch blade and immediately cut the palm of her hand.

If he was shocked by her actions, he did not show it. He sighed and opened one of his draws that held the gauze and some thread.

Within minutes he had stitched her palm together, it would heal beautifully – one of the perks of being a wolf but she did this for reason.

“You’re now my doctor. We have doctor patient confidentiality.”

She needed that protection, otherwise she would not be able to get what she wanted. She knew that the confidentiality was only for him healing her, but Leah _was_ hurting, so it counted in her mind.

“Yes, Leah that is true.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief before she dug into her backpack, pulling out her notes and clippings.

“When you _died_ …you made a choice. To not be like the others, to not be what your very nature is, how did you do that?”

With everything Leah knew that she learned from Jacob who learned from Bella who learned from Edward, Carlisle was the first of his kind. Choosing to go against his very nature, that’s what Leah needed help with.

His perfect marbled face had a look of confusion across it and Leah sighed this time as she toyed with the bindings of her notebook.

“I have to live on a reservation that hardly anyone escapes from. I am in a wolf pack that has my ex fiancée as its Alpha. I must sit and watch as he and my cousin make off in the sunset, not caring about the destruction they left in the wake. I am an anomaly, the first female shifter in our history. I’ve been doing research…it is uncommon but not rare for a female wolf to break apart from her pack and become an alpha in her own right.”

She took a deep breath as she watched realization wash over his face, but she continued, “I just have to figure out how. Why not ask the resident vampire of a coven how he turned away from nature.”

Ever since she began formulating this plan, she’s been working on herself. Wondering about Bella and how Leah knows the mind reader cannot read her mind, her mind being shielded.

Leah slowly been doing the same in order to protect her mind, because if Sam ever found out about her future defection, he would Alpha order her to banish it from her mind.

So slowly but surely, she’s pictured her mind like a bottomless abyss, and should the pack ever dare to investigate it, well they would find nothing but darkness.

It was her first victory when she realized it had work when Paul had complained about how she was such a “miserable bitch, always wallowing in her misery.”

“My father was a priest, I knew that if he found me, he would kill me. I tried to kill myself multiple times before I realized that nothing would work, and I was consumed by hunger. I eventually wandered into some woods where I found an elk and drunk on it. The rest as you say is history. I did not want to take a life, a human life so I found an alternative.”

_That makes sense._

Most families on the rez were distantly related, the first alpha being a Black. Leah knew that Jacob had no interest in leading and after the fiasco with the newborns, he was still nursing his pride when his Bella choice her Leech over him.

Leah reached into her bag again, pulling out an envelope.

“This is seven grand. I saved it up over the years for a wedding from all my grants and scholarships, my time working at the college before I had to quit and do my duties to the tribe. I know you have that psychic daughter of yours. I need, err want her to invest this.”

She pushed the envelope towards him, if Leah was leaving, she needed more than seven lousy thousand dollars. She would be able to leave some cash behind for her mom and Seth, but the rest she would take with her.

“Leah, I am unsure about this…”

A frustrated huff of breath passed her lips as she stood up from her seat, her anger slowly coming out.

“I ain’t sticking around, being the harpy bitch of an ex as I have to watch my cousin live the life I wanted. Women are oft put upon in this world, and if all you men can grab and take what you want then I want my piece of the pie too! I’ll be my own damn alpha. Maybe be like you and have my own renegade of people who say no to the norm.”

Leah wanted to cry, but she hasn’t cried since her father died and she did not want to cry now because if she did, she knew she would not stop.

“I need this doc. Please.”

How odd that was, a wolf standing across from a vampire as she begs him for a favor.

Considering she was a wolf in the first place, it was odd enough.

Maybe he saw the genuine frustration on her face or the darkness she kept within herself that seemed to keep crawling at her every day she remained on the rez, but he relented when he took the envelope.

“Thank you. Here.” She gave him a ripped off piece of paper with her number drawled on it.

“Try to keep this from your mind reader. I don’t need ol’ Bella telling Jacob then Jacob running off to Sam. This is not my lot of in life. Just like you, I’ll be striking the chains off.”

With that she left the office, making her way out of the hospital, as she got into her mother’s car and drove home.

Leah could only hope she would be leaving soon, she did not want to stick around for the wedding of Sam and Emily.

That would really suck.

Posted 3/23/2020  
Edited:


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gone girl, gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike my other fic, "A Shadowed Path' I think these updates will be between 1200 words+ just depending. It's a lot less complicated then ASP so I can put out updates more easily. 
> 
> Happy reading and happy writing folks!  
> :)

Her snout was to the ground as she patrolled, her mind blank as she thought about a stream of water, focusing on the rock that remained unmoved as the water went around it.

_Jeez Leah, what’s up with you?_

It was Jacob and she could only roll her eyes as she kept running,

_Nothing, just thinking._

_You’re much quieter nowadays._

_Hmm…just thinking is all._

She left it at that as she kept her mind cleared as they ran, Sam and Paul were taking the southern border while her and Jacob took the northern one.

_She’s probably just PMSing, oops wait! She can’t do that either._

Before a remark like that would have caused her teeth to be on edge, but she thought about that stone, letting the water pass it as it stood still against it all.

_Hmm…bite me._

It was a non-committal remark, at this point she’s heard it all before. The pack, this town has taken so much from Leah, she was not going to let it have anymore from her.

Carlisle had called her earlier and told her to come to the hospital once her patrol was done, she could only hope for good news. It had been three months and summer was slowly approaching as they moved out of winter to spring.

_Jacob and Leah phase out. Embry and Quil are here._

Leah was never gladder than to hear the two words, because this may well be her last one with them. She phased and pulled on the dress that sat below a tree.

Leah went straight home and cleaned up, as she took her mother’s car back to the hospital she visited before.

Leah immediately walked towards his office, before she even had to knock the door was opened and inside the room was Carlisle and the pixie vampire.

Her eyes narrowed before she released it, “Two is company, three is a group.”

“I wanted to go over your portfolio with you.”

_Right, portfolio. Stocks and all that other shit._

Leah plopped down, making herself comfortable as she ran a hand through her short curls, inwardly hissing because she missed her long locks before Sam ordered her to cut them off. Leah would have detangled her hair everyday if it meant keeping her waist length hair.

 _Once you leave, you can grow it back out,_ she promised herself.

“Talk to me Shortie.”

An hour was spent as Alice chirped to her about the stocks Leah’s money had invested in, it been shuffled all throughout Wall Street, it amazed her to see how seven grand could lead to thirty but if Leah had the ability to see the future, she would make her money stretch even further.

Leah could leave behind the original seven grand for her family then take the rest as she made her way south. She wanted some place sunny; these clouded skies of Forks and La Push did not help her already somber disposition.

When the time came for Leah to leave, she stuck out her hand, shaking Alice’s first and then Carlisle.

She bounced on her heels while she stood in the door frame, “Thank you. I won’t forget what you and Alice have done for me. Goodbye.”

She immediately ducked her head out of his office, walking quickly to her mother’s car as she began formulating her plan.

Leaving her mother would not be hard because Leah always wanted to leave the nest, but leaving Seth behind, her sweet baby brother? If she was a weaker woman, she would stay for him, but Leah knows she cannot live her life for others.

She wants to live for herself, to make her own choices and face the consequences because she has the freedom to do so.

Not live under the yoke of someone else’s command.

The drive back to La Push is not long and she steps out of the borrowed car, going to her bedroom and closing the door.

She locks it.

No need for her mother or Seth to walk in on her packing her shit.

Leah uses her cellphone to order a taxi to arrive within an hour.

Seth won’t be home until later because he’ll be hanging with the neighborhood boys.

Her mother is over at Charlie’s.

She does not hate her mother for wanting to move on and she appreciates that she does not bring her new beau into the home she once shared with her father.

She hopes Charlie can help her mother and brother.

Leah knows the fallout of her leaving will have its consequences, but she accepts that.

Sitting at her desk, she pulls out the letters she’s written them. There are four of them, one for each her mother and brother, one for them both and one to the tribal council.

Her letter to Seth is the sweetest because he’ll always be her baby brother. She tells him how much she loves him, but that she cannot be a good sister to him when she herself if broken. That she will be taking time to fix what’s been broken, so that when they see each other again, she can be the sister he deserves. To make sure he does his homework and to not cause grief for their mother for what Leah is about to do. To ask him to take care of mom and himself, make sure he eats something other than pizza.

To her mother she writes how much she admires her strength and how she is leaving to seek her own happiness; hoping that what ails her now will be soothed. Leah writes that she does not know when she will return but that she made some good business choices and wants her mom to accept the seven grand, to put some aside for Seth and herself. That once Leah gets on her feet, she’ll send more money and letters. Leah gives her written approval of Charlie and wishes her mother the best in her new relationship.

The one to them both, describes the pain she feels, the abyss that is never ending. How she cannot find herself and does not recognize the person she has become. She accepts that she had a hand in her own pain because she kept burying it, trying to be strong but the more she buried it, the deeper the abyss has become and now she must begin the climb. She wrote how she could not do it here in La Push, because for healing to happen, it had to be on her own terms.

The one to the council is blunt. Leah Clearwater is the first female wolf of the Quileute legends. She is her own Alpha, a lone wolf. She’ll neither kneel nor bow to any other.

It’s a big fuck you to the council and Sam.

She wishes she could be there to see their faces.

When she brings the letters to the kitchen table, she sits down and stares at the letters and envelope filled with cash for a moment in thought.

The pixie had been nice enough to give her a credit card with a bank account.

Leah closed her eyes, imagining her mindscape as she searched for her inner wolf. When she saw it, it looked to be in a cage with its golden eyes so like the vampires.

It is not the first time she has sought out her inner wolf as she began her plan for escape.

Her hand reached forward, and her breath quickened, because while the cage was metaphysical there were a hundred cords tying her to the pack. They were red and Leah imagined an axe within her hand as she stepped towards the cords.

Her breathing was heavy, and she felt her palms sweaty, without a second thought she brought the axe down severing those red cords of fate, of loyalty, of brotherhood that had no room for a sister.

Her eyes opened and she could hear a horn blast.

She grabbed her suitcases and bags.

She took one last look at her surroundings, the home where she grew up and lived.

There is a soft flutter of remorse in her heart before she brushed it aside.

Leah took a deep breath as she neared the front door.

Then she was gone.

Posted: 03/29/2020

Edited: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after this chapter things will be told from First Person POV, just because I think for a story like this, having Leah's thoughts and outlook on everything will be better.
> 
> I've rewritten chapter 3 like four times and now this will be my 4th attempt just because I am trying to capture the right emotions. 
> 
> Stay safe during quarantine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later, Leah gets interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, it took me MULTIPLE times to writer this damn chapter. I was getting pissed off with myself, switching from 3rd POV to 1st POV. Think I got it down right with this chapter. 
> 
> I tried to draw on personal experience with depression and I was going to make Leah's recovering long and harrowing, but christ it felt like I was triggering my own damn problem so I cut that idea in the bud. I think when Leah interacts with others I'll have her expressing those 6 months she went through, least then it won't be such a negative headspace to write in.
> 
> Anyway, happy reading and writing!  
> :D

Rome was a city of history. The night life thrived and colored the city in so many different lights and visages, it was the second time I had fallen in love.

Because it felt promising, for a girl like me to live in city that was once a powerhouse in ancient society. Where a Roman citizen could go anywhere and all they had to do was hold up a badge stating their Roman citizenship and they had the protection of the empire.

It was how I felt, I was a soldier in my own way, marching to the beat of my own drums and damning anyone else who had something to say about.

No matter what happened, I would always love this city, because it was where I begin healing myself. Taking everyday one step at a time. It was a mantra I was learning to live with. I began doing yoga, joining a small gym and putting my anger issues to rest.

I knew I would no longer be the girl I use to be, but the woman I saw in the mirror when I got dressed in the morning – she held something promising in her eyes. Her eyes looked less haunted and jaded, the once bitter harpy of La Push looked more peaceful, more…content.

I rented out a small apartment that was enough for me, myself and I and found a job at a museum that was quiet. I worked in the archives and did not have to interact with many people which was nice.

For the past six months I have been living in Rome, enjoying the local cuisines, along with sight seeing and surfing. I felt lighter, more feminine then I’ve felt in such a long time.

My hair has grown back out and I promised myself I would never cut it again, no matter if my wolf is shaggy. It was a part of me I had to cut off when I joined Sam’s pack and I would never give myself away again. It was a vow.

I had just gotten off work, I worked from 7 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon. It was a decent work schedule and it paid the bills, which allowed me to save the money I had gotten from Alice.

I switched into my athletic gear, a sports bra with spandex tights and a light jacket. While I loved running in wolf form, I was only able to do it once a month. Running on two legs is rewarding, as I find myself getting faster in not only my human form but also wolf form.

My Bobo Outdoor backpack was slang across my shoulders, I slipped my phone into the arm band and turned on my headphones.

It did not take me long to reach the Tiber River as I began to run the seven-mile course. It felt so good to stretch my legs, to feel my curls flopping against my back as I inhaled and exhaled the air I was drawing from. It felt fulfilling as the music pumped me through mile one.

‘Cranes in the Sky’ by Solange played through my headphones as I enjoyed the overcast weather as I hummed softly to myself as I made my way around the curve of the trail.

It wasn’t until I had gotten four miles in, did I begin to smell the usual scent of a leech. It was sweet with a hint of vanilla and something else underneath it. My run ended abruptly as I began scanning the area around me, my eyes flashing as I tried to pinpoint where the scent was coming from.

Not many people ran at this time of day, which is why I preferred doing it instead of the morning and evenings where the trail was packed with folks.

It did not take long until I was met by a hulking man who seemed larger then Emmett Cullen from what I remembered.

I wanted to panic, but I steeled my nerves not wanting to take a chance and phasing in the public. Can’t be a wolf in the middle of a city, with no forestry for me to blend into.

My onyx eyes met crimson red, as the large figure stared down at me, a smug smile dawning on his face as he spoke,

“You need to come with me.”

Right, because I’ll just leave with a random man in the middle of the day. I frowned, I had no run-ins with the supernatural and the day I decide to go for a run, _without_ the sun out, I’m met with the biggest vampire I’ve ever seen.

Fuck me.

“Who is me?”

“I am Felix, Felix Volturi.”

My stomach dropped to my feet and my palms immediately began to feel clammy. I remembered the Volturi from Jacob’s memories when he hung out with Bella. They were the reason we had to leave early when we fought those newborns, Edward didn’t think they’d respect the treaty we had with one another.

So many thoughts flashed through my mind, I couldn’t phase, not here and now. I didn’t think I could outrun him even in this form. The trail was pretty much empty and even if I did get some attention, those red eyes told me he wouldn’t care about getting rid of interference.

“Leah Clearwater. Take me away champ.”

I thought over the past few months, trying to recall if I was followed without knowing it. The scent of Rome is filled with so many variants of spices. Maybe I slipped up somehow? The only good thing is that there was no sickly-sweet scent in my apartment so they couldn’t have snuck into my home while I was out at work or working out.

I was led to a black sedan with heavily tinted windows, Felix opened the backdoor for me and I slide in, mumbling “thanks” as I did so.

There was a woman in the front seat with brownish hair, as she peered into the rearview mirror to get a look at me.

I sniffed the air, huh – human.

The sweat that had been on my body from the run had now dried away as I reclined in my seat getting comfortable.

Felix sat beside me but kept the middle space empty and before I knew it – we were off.

“How far is Volterra from here?”

“Three hours and some change,” Felix stated bluntly as he pulled out a phone and began dialing.

I sighed, great. It sounds like the intro to a bad joke, a vampire, shapeshifter and human all climbed into a car with one another.

It was a comfort to know that the Volturi were the ruling class over vampires, ensuring that the masses did not find out their little sparkly secret. If they wanted to kill me, then Felix could have dragged me off into the shadows and done away with me – so there’s that.

I exhaled harshly as I leaned my head back against the headrest.

_One problem at a time Lee, one problem at a time._

* * *

The human girl drove like she had a demon on her heels, I guess she didn’t have to fear the police when you had a super hearing vampire in the car with you.

The Volturi compound was large, as she drove into the underground garage where dozens of vehicles were parked.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, its like vampires had a hard on for shiny and sparkly things. Then I snorted at the irony of it. I followed Felix and the girl whose name I never got.

I felt naked, as I passed by empty hallways, so I zipped up my hoodie, it covered my bare stomach and I let down my hair from its ponytail to cover my neck.

No need to tempt them, although Felix didn’t sink his fangs into me… _yet._

The room I was led into had three figures sitting on chairs – well thrones, with a girl and boy standing now too far from the dais.

The one on the farthest left, seemed like a sneer was permanently etched into his face. I wanted to laugh, if everyone in La Push thought I had a resting bitch face, they would faint at the sight of this guy.

The one that sat in the middle seemed the most eager, his crimson eye’s sparkling with mirth and curiosity.

Then there was the one of the farthest right, who seemed utterly bored and if I didn’t know leeches had no heartbeat, I would’ve thought the bastard dead by the look of nothing on his face.

“Ah, you have brought Ms. Clearwater to us. I must give my thanks to Gianna and you Felix.”

I simply lifted one of my arched eyebrows in question, waiting for them to introduce themselves.

“Forgive me, I am Aro and these are my brothers, Caius and Marcus.”

Aro had climbed down the dais and stood in front of me, I would have been intimidated but I kept my heartbeat at a steady pace.

Do not show fear.

Yeah, okay.

Easier said then done. Buck up Leah, no time for being a pussy now. 

“Well, you already know me. So…what’s up?”

Everything seemed so formal, I couldn't help but let my sarcasm slip out. 

I looked around the room, eyeing the leech who looked no younger than 13, eyeing me with a blank expression.

“May I?” Aro has reached out his hands and I just sighed under my breath, wondering what the hell I was doing here.

I gave him my hand, curious as to what he was going to do, perhaps he was gifted like Alice and Edward. Funny how I’ve lessened to calling them leeches, but considering the help Carlisle and Alice gave me, not being derogatory about them is the least I can do.

As Aro grabbed my hand, I could see my life flash throughout my eyes, and I cringed at the girl I use to be so mad and bitter at the world. Then the sad girl who stayed holed up in some Texas hotel as she cried her eyes out.

It had taken me two weeks to go through the stages of grief, acceptance being the hardest stage I went through.

I realized too late that I had given Sam too much of myself, to the point that when he left and broke me – I had nothing remaining.

Then to have my mind shared with horny teenage boys and my ex who was also my Alpha? I had loss so much in such a short span of time; my fiancee, my best friend, my father, my own mind - I did not have time to grieve.

I made a vow to never do that again, to never give away all of myself because I still had to be me, still be Leah Jacqueline Clearwater at the end of the day. It was why I had taken to growing my hair long now, it was my crowning glory and I’d be damn if someone snatched it off my head again.

I was so consumed in my memories that when Aro pulled his hand away it felt like I got ejected from a car.

“Ah. Pain, betrayal and dare I even say vindication,” Aro’s soft voice carried throughout the room as he stared at me in wonder.

“If I had not witnessed for myself, I would not believe it. My, my. You should be proud of yourself, I am.”

I stilled and I could feel my heart stutter twice before it went back to beating at its normal pace. My eyes felt a prickle and I steeled myself to not cry, not here in a room full of leeches, of stupid vampires.

I couldn’t even remember the last time someone told me they were proud of me. _Maybe dad?_ I couldn’t be sure. When I tried to takedown a newborn, I did have it, but Jake jumped in and even when I tried to explain I got told off.

I was proud of myself, because that month I spent in Texas had been an eyeopener to the life I had been living. So unsatisfied and unhappy, it takes a lot of effort to want to actively change that and I did. I was proud of myself, but it was nice to be acknowledge for my efforts, even if the compliment came by a red-eyed vampire.

“Thank you,” I murmured feeling slightly abashed and I could feel my face heating up.

I cleared my throat of the lump that had taken place as I shuffled my feet.

“I figure there is a reason you had Felix pick me up?” I was still confused on why I was brought here; I know I haven’t done anything warrant attention.

“I was most curious when Heidi was out shopping for tourist, when she caught the scent of something not human but not vampire either. I see now you are a wolf.”

At the word wolf, the blond hair guy, Caius jumped out of seat almost seething and foaming at the mouth.

“A wolf?! We must kill her brother. Kill her!”

My eyes immediately cut to him, my jaw clenched as I peered at the man, he stared me before barking out “Jane.”

Immediately crumpled to the ground and I could feel pain coursing through my veins. I bit my tongue and turned struggled to turn my head to the young girl who stared down at me. She seemed smug and that pissed me off.

My hands fisted and I kept my rage simmering, I almost wanted to laugh. Pain? I had been in constant pain for three years. This? Felt like a nap compared to the abyss I had lived in.

I struggled to my feet and _pushed_ the pain away. You live in pain and bitterness for three years and pushing it away become second nature.

“Pain?! I thrive in it. The next time you pull some shit like that bitch, I’ll phase here and now and leave you in pieces.” I gritted out.

I may have lied, I didn’t thrive in pain, but I knew how to navigate it like a minefield.

At this, Aro began laughing, almost dancing around the room as he waved his hand to get Jane to stop doing what she was doing to me, even though I was standing – barely.

“Now brother, she is not one of the Children of the Moon, she’s a shapeshifter. A female shapeshifter, the only one of her kind. Utterly amazing.”

I felt like I walked into the Wizard of Oz, hoping that if I clicked my heels three times, I be whisked back to my apartment.

The room was silent as Caius sat down, seeming to be mollified by Aro’s words.

_Let’s go home Dorothy._

The sound of footsteps could be heard, and I was tempted to turn my head, but I kept my focus on the vampire in front of me.

“You must forgive my brother; he had a nasty run in with a werewolf and has quite the bias against them.”

This, I snorted at.

“You find that funny girl?” Caius demanded and I just shrugged my shoulders.

“Did he blow your house down?”

Not helping Lee, not helping at all.

“No.” Caius gritted out, becoming angered again.

“Well, as nice as this is. I was in the middle of something before Steroid Boywonder picked me up, so if you don’t mind…I’ll be leaving.”

No one made any moves to stop me, so I turned around almost bumping into the person that had entered the room and stared down at me, his eyes burning into mine. I could feel a tightness in my chest, and I took in his face, staring in wonder before I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

“One day at a time Lee, one day at a time.” I spoke softly under my breath, as I left the room.

I could hear a voice speaking so softly if I wasn’t a wolf, I’d never hear it. 

“Brother.” Was all I heard before I began running, if my stomach has landed in my feet when I arrived it was sure as fuck shot down into hell.

I passed the human girl as she called out if I needed a ride, I simply kept running, remembering the entrance I came through.

Inhaling deeply into the evening air, happy to see people walking about in the plaza. I had my wallet and phone on me, I could easily call a cab, but I needed some distance.

Pulling the hair tie from my wrist, I tied my hair back and let my feet hit the ground as I began running. I don't know why I ran, but something told me to.

I was brought to the leaders of vampires.

I touched a vampire willingly.

I laughed at one of the leaders.

I felt a pull towards a vampire.

I ran like the devil was on my heels and funny enough, the vampire I had stared at reminded me of the ‘Fallen Angel’ canvas by Alexandre Cabanel that was housed in the Villa Farnesina where I worked.

Having access to Sam, Jared and Quil, I know what an imprint feels like but what I felt didn’t feel like that at all. Which probably scared me even more, because when I once wished for an imprint, now I rebuked the idea wholly. I didn’t like the idea of fate or whoever the fuck was sitting high in the sky deciding my life.

Having the option to choose what I wanted, that was all I wanted. Yet, I did feel a pull and I had no idea why.

I didn’t know how far I’d get on my legs, but I was going to push myself as hard as I could. I decided that the farther and quicker I got away from Volterra, the better.

Posted: 04/07/2020

Edited: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone guess who Leah's friend will be? Idk why, but I'm stuck on the idea of Jane & Leah being friends because just like Rosalie, knowing Jane's backstory I'm like 'Stephenie, why do you give me these broken female characters and do nothing with them?" 
> 
> I believe Jane and Leah have many things in common, one being burned by her community physically while the other emotionally. Don't ask me why I like these two, but I've got it all planned out in my head. Not to mention, no one ever explores Jane, and I do love exploring discarding characters.
> 
> anyways, be safe during quarantine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is not a song, it's a soap opera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever mention how much I love sarcasm and dry wit? Cause I do.

Before me on the café table laid out a brunch from the heavens. Toasts, eggs, sausage, fruit and even a craft of mimosas. I believed after the week I had, I should be able to enjoy a Saturday brunch and eat my ass off.

I was in my own world, enjoying the scenery around me, as I nibbled on my toast after spreading some butter on it. One of the things I loved about Rome was the weekends, especially Saturday and how the farmers would congregate to the market and sell fruit and vegetables.

On Saturdays, I would bring my metal tow cart with me as I sat for brunch and then make my way over to the market to get some food for the week and some flowers for my tiny kitchen table. It was becoming my own tradition and after I would place my flowers in a vase, I would sit down in front of my laptop and write an email for mom and Seth. Then the rest of the day was for me, either laundry or simply lounging. It was a free for all and I loved it.

I had to buy laptop for Seth and have it sent to him, because I did not feel like writing letters and waiting however the fuck long from a post in Italy to be sent to La Push, Washington.

Plus, it made it easier to communicate with them by not having a return address. The last thing I needed was for anyone from La Push to show up here and ruin the nice little sha-ding I had going on.

I downed the rest of my orange and pineapple mimosa and laid some cash down on the table.

As I left the patio I was sitting on, I looked around my surroundings subtly. Ever since my little excursion to Volterra, I had been a little paranoid – but I wasn’t going to let a bunch of vampires stop me from living my life.

I’ve had enough of the supernatural world doing that, thank you very much.

That week in the hotel room in Texas made me face a bunch of hard truths that I had to accept. I wondered if I was meant for this, when looking at my bloodline, I had Clearwater and Black blood running through me. Perhaps I had been too blinded by my anger to realize I was fucked from the get-go. My genes all but sealed my fate and I learned to accept that.

It made me realize that even if I didn’t turn into a wolf, there were still vampires out there. I got a little lucky being able to phase into a wolf and having some form of protection about me. Beggars can’t be choosers I decided.

As I made my way through the market, I smiled at the familiar faces I passed, waving a little and even exchanging some greetings.

“Hey Clara,” I greet the elderly woman who always sets aside a case of gazanias for me.

“Ah, Leah! So good to see you, here.” She puts the flowers in a brown bag before passing them off to me and gives me a smile as a place them in my cart. I’ve already got my produce; I always buy the flowers last as it signifies the end of my shopping trip.

I wanted to spend the rest of the day lounging, as my body still felt tense after the hour long run, I had when I ran away from Volterra, literally.

Even with my wolf genes, my legs still had a familiar ache in them, and I had decided that tomorrow I would make an excursion outside the city and phase. Perhaps I needed to let my wolf loose and run that way in order to satisfy the ache I was still feeling.

I passed down random apartment building as my nose caught a familiar scent and I growled under my breath.

“Go away.” I hissed softly.

What is with vampires and them not respecting your personal space? Jacob told me Edward watched Bella as she slept, like Jesus what the fuck? It’s like they don’t understand the arm’s length rule.

The only response I got was a dark chuckle and I just huffed under my breath.

Whatever.

I picked up my pace, my metal cart protesting behind me as the wheels squeaked. When I reached the front door of my apartment building, I sighed in relief.

I lived on the second floor and I turned around to make sure whichever vampire had been watching me didn’t follow me inside. You had to punch in your personal code to get the door to unlock, and I hovered over the keypad, hiding my right hand as I pressed in my code.

That only earned another laugh and I scowled, I turned back around just as the door was unlocked and stuck both of my middle fingers up.

That earned me a growl, but I just smiled sweetly before I entered my building quickly and hurried up the stairs.

“Why can’t I ever be left alone. All I want is peace. It’s like the universe is out to get me.” I groaned.

At this point, I was convinced that aliens abducted me the minute I was born and that my life was nothing short, but some reality show aliens watched in the galaxy. Because if shapeshifters, vampires and actual werewolves are real; then aliens are also plausible. Besides it makes me feel infinitely better to know someone is getting a kick out of my life, even at my own expense.

Makes me feel a whole lot better then thinking about spirits or even gods deciding, “oh hey Leah! That’s a nice life you got going, how about we fuck it all up for you? Okay? Great, thanks.”

I unlocked my front door, inhaling the sent of sandalwood and vanilla that permeated throughout as I locked the door behind me and shuffled into my decent sized kitchen.

I put away my groceries and pulled out my laptop to send an email back home, I was glad that neither my mother nor Seth pushed for information. Although I could tell that they wanted too, they didn't. They also didn’t offer any information on my former pack and for that I was glad. I had nothing to do with them and they had nothing to do with me.

It’s only been a few days since Volterra, and outside of the ache in my legs and the brief fluttering in my chest, all was well except for whichever vampire followed me around. How annoying, but I wasn’t going to mention that in my email.

So did not want any wolves running around in Rome.

Besides, it wasn’t like they bothered me really, I figured since I popped up on the Volturi’s radar they would watch me, make sure I was keeping secrets and being a good little girl.

Hardy fucking har har.

My email was short and sweet, not like the usual ones I sent that detailed the daily occurrences in my life. I would call them, but the long-distance fees were crazy, so I limited myself to emails and some photos I had taken with my phone whenever I walked the piers and had someone take a photo of me.

I showered and slipped into some sweats and a crewneck and laid down on my couch, flipping on the tv to watch my Italian soap operas. I loved "Love in the Mob".

My notepad sat in front of me on the coffee table and I had to let out a chuckle, it was my own personal joke. I began writing out my life as episodes ever since I thought about aliens. It made dealing with everything a little easier and considering everything that’s happened thus far – my life played out like a soap opera to the t.

Girl meets boy? Check.

Girl falls in love with boy? Check.

Girl begins planning out her life with said boy because he’s everything she thought to think of? Check.

Girl gets engaged to the love of her life? Check.

Girl gets her heart broken by her cheating bastard of an ex fiancée and bitch cousin? You betcha, check!

Girl turns into a wolf? Oh, wait a minute, huh this just went from drama to supernatural, but the ratings will definitely shoot up. Check!

Girl father dies after finding out she's a wolf and freak of nature? Check.

Girl has her self-confidence and mind broken by a bunch of hormonal boys? Yes sir, check!

Girl runs away from home but not before she sticks her middle finger up to your hometown? Hell yes, check!

Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!

I laid my head back on one of the decoration pillows and watched in rapt attention as English subtitles flew across the screen as Maria watched her husband, Carlo sleeping with her secretary.

“How’s he going to explain this away, Maria?” I pondered.

I watched as Maria slapped Carlo across the face as he tried to pull a sheet to cover himself up. The secretary, Anna or something scurried out of the bed while she tried to put on her clothes.

“Too late for that girlie!” I laughed out, even if this was a soap opera it felt marginally better to laugh at someone else then the shit show I called life.

“Carlo! Come hai potuto?! Ti ho amato! Hai preso il mio amore e mi hai preso in giro.” Maria shouted in Italian.

My Italian was nowhere near fluent, but as woman it was easy to hear the hurt and betrayal in her voice.

“Amore mio, non è quello che sembra. Per favore! Lasciatemi spiegare.”

I rolled my eyes, ugh. Typical.

I missed yesterday’s episode and I was finally considering getting premium cable so I can get one of those DVRs to record my shows.

I watched Maria slap Carlo across the face again, before pounding into his chest as he tried to explain how this was a mistake. I had wanted to slap Sam so many times, but I couldn't. At least one woman got to.

Carlo held his face as Maria walked out, yelling that she would tell her uncle about this, who just so happened to be a mob boss.

“Oh, he is dead.” I walked into my kitchen to get some snacks and I heard a knock of my door.

I turned back to my TV which had a commercial playing and I ran to the door, opening it only to be met with the full force scent of nutmeg and honey.

I frowned as I peered up at the visitor on my doorstep, oh.

It was the vampire I had ran into before, but he didn’t smell like the vampire who had been watching me when I flicked them off.

I groaned, so I had two vampires watching me and I only noticed one?

I needed to phase tomorrow and perhaps start phasing two times a month instead of one. Maybe my senses are dulling or something.

“Hi.” I stated, not knowing what else to say. This time around I had more time to study his face, it reminded me of the paintings filled in the museum of Greeks and Romans. His skin was not the usual pale, but olive yet darker then my own but light in an off way. His hair was long and slightly wavy as he laid against his shoulder. His nose was noble like Aro's but less pronounced. He was handsome, perfect in a way all vampires seemed to be.

“Hello, Leah.”

I tried to pretend that the way he said my name didn’t sound like cursive or silk over his tongue. The tightening then fluttering happened once more in my chest and I absentmindedly rubbed it to try to soothe it away.

“Ah, so you feel it as well.”

I licked my lips and gripped the door handle harder, never have taken my hand off it. Now I just wanted to slam the door and go back to my Saturday chilling of snacks and soap operas.

_I could even open up that new bottle of wine, although trying to get drunk during the middle of the day is a new low, even for you Leah._

“Feel what?” I asked as I turn my head slightly, wanting to cry as I could hear my soap opera starting back up again.

“The bond that is forming, of course.”

I raised my left hand and rubbed my temple.

Just like that, my Saturday got ruined.

Posted: 04/13/2020

Edited: 04/13/2020 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used google translator.
> 
> I. "Carlo! Come hai potuto?! Ti ho amato! Hai preso il mio amore e mi hai preso in giro"  
> Carlo! How could you ?! I loved you! You took my love and you made a fool of me.  
> II. "Amore mio, non è quello che sembra. Per favore! Lasciatemi spiegare."  
> My love, it's not what it looks like. Please! Let me explain.
> 
> My idea of Demetri based off the wikia, I immediately thought of Vito Basso.  
> Hubba hubba.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's behind door number three?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about vampires in general and I am going to be changing canon but this is a canon-divergence series, so no surprise there. I think human blood drinking vampire should be able to sleep, while vegetarians don't, I just think vampire need to sleep and actually rest because while they are immortal, every living organisms sleeps or lies dormant for some time. Vampires shouldn't be limited to just that. While they won't need sleep as much as humans, a few hours a week to rest themselves (because the idea that vampires can see and hear everything on such a grand level, imagine that closing their eyes will be a welcome respite from that) well be a good idea. So yeah, red-eyed vamps sleep and I ain't sorry about that. 
> 
> Do remember that the chapters for this fic can range from 1.5k+ words, since I am mainly focused on 'A Shadowed Path'. 
> 
> Happy reading.  
> :)

I ran my options, trying to calculate where this decision doesn’t end up with me with fangs sinking into my neck or my wolf making an appearance.

I had neighbors, while I gave myself enough space because I was not ready to have anyone really in my life so closely, not when I was enjoying the peace away from a pack mind – I still cared enough to not want to see them sucked dry.

I had two vampires following me and one vampire bold enough to show up on my doorstep. My hand had gently released the doorknob and I stood back, my back against the wall as I motioned for the Lucifer lookalike to enter.

Maybe I was giving myself another hope that since I haven’t done anything, the Volturi wouldn’t attack me unprovoked. I mean they did let me leave their little castle, that had to be saying something.

It also made me think about the Cullens, because while I know Alice cannot see us wolves, I can’t help but wonder if she’s watching the leaders of their vampire world. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get a warning phone call, if the Volturi have involved me in their plans, then their futures may disappear as easily as I do from her visions.

A catch 20-20.

There was a slight pressure on my temple, and I try to soothe away the headache that was coming by gently rubbing it. All I wanted was to watch my soap operas and eat some spaghetti later, I could already tell that from this moment on, nothing would ever be the same.

I watch intensely as Lucifer walks, more like glides into my apartment, looking so out of place it would be comical if he weren’t a vampire and I not a wolf.

Life is filled with ironies.

I take three deep breaths, before I close the door after him, placing my head on the door briefly, welcoming the cool respite from the door before I pull myself together and sit down on my couch, where he soon follows.

The tightening in my chest seems to be growing and spreading to my stomach, while it is not painful, it is not exactly comfortable either. 

“Aileah, I apologize for my random appearance.”

Jesus, really Aileah? It’s been so long since I heard my real name being used, because I was simply Leah or Lee. I wanted to ask how he knew that, but then I remember that Aro knew my whole life story from a simple touch.

Right.

“Its fine.”

It’s not but placating a vampire in my small apartment seems like the smarter thing to do instead of antagonizing one. If I show him that I’m cool and he goes home to his leaders, they’ll see I’m no threat and I can be left alone to my own devices.

My soap opera continues in the background, but all my senses make me focus on the vampire in front of me and I can’t help but blurt out my first thought.

“What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Lucifer in my mind.”

His skin is olive but not as light as mine but almost a golden hue outside of the typical paleness that all vampires seem to have. He is otherworldly, so if his real name is Lucifer, I wouldn’t be surprised.

“Demetri. But why do you call me Lucifer?”

“You remind me of the ‘Fallen Angel’ by Alexandre Cabanel, I see it all the time at my job. It’s the first thing I thought of when I saw you,” I state with a shrug of my shoulders.

It isn’t fair that a guy this good looking is a vampire, but then again, I know that becoming a vampire only enhances a person’s appearance, so Demetri had to have been good looking before he became one. That’s a small comfort.

“Is that so? How interesting.”

I feel like twitching because of how intense his gaze is, it felt like everything vampires did, they turned the dial all the way up to 100 on the intensity scale.

“Well…you came here for a reason, right? Imagine it wasn’t just to exchange names.”

Because the sooner this conversation happens, the sooner I can get back to normal – or as normal as my life is at this current moment in time.

“Yes, as you know by Aro’s gift and your time working with the Cullens, you know vampires can have unique gifts.”

“Yes…” I trail off, not knowing what else to say to that.

“I am a tracker. The finest that there is. Once I catch a scent, I never lose it. I can find anyone and anything so long as I have their scent.”

If I had any ideas of packing up and moving, oh let’s say to Antarctica – it would be futile. How lovely, a wolf and a vampire hound.

Fucking perfect really, just what I need.

“Right.” I manage to squeak out.

“Master Marcus, has a gift for seeing relationships and the bonds that are formed between people and a coven.”

Oh.

_Oh._

“You left in such a hurry; you did not get to hear what Master Marcus had to say.”

The tightening in my chest may have just turned into a goddamn vice grip with the way I could feel the pressure. If I didn’t know any better, I would immediately crawl into bed and try to pretend that this day never happened. That I was never found and brought to Volterra, because I knew – I could feel the ripping of foundation as my life as I knew it imploded once again.

“The bond.”

“Yes, it seems you are my mate.”

I jump up from my seat on my couch. My mouth is pressed together tightly because I know if I open my mouth now, I will scream.

I don’t know what is worse, imprinting or this? Imprinting I knew what to expect, but this? Uncharted territory and I was thrown into the deep end.

I think back to the Cullens and how each couple seemed to work in tandem, Carlisle and Esme, Alice, and Jasper then Emmett and Rosalie. They all seemed to complement one another but it wasn’t like imprinting where the imprinter emotionally and mentally changes themselves for their imprint.

When I was back in La Push, I always thought of imprinting both in my wolf and human form because no matter how I tried to cut and dice it, it made no sense to me.

The Sam I knew and had loved had changed into someone entirely new, just for Emily. Anything and everything she wanted; he did without so much of a batting of his eye. Maybe that’s what hurt the most was because he was no longer the Sam that I knew. He changed for Emily, when I never asked him to change because I loved him for who he was.

Just like Sam, Jared had seen Kim so many damn times but once he became a wolf it didn’t matter if he was interested in Janice and he dropped her the moment he looked Kim in the eyes. Kim got her wish because she had such a crush on Jared and he finally acknowledged her once he was a wolf. Imprinting is like a twisted love-story, where someone always gets hurt in the end. 

It made me fear for Claire, because I can recall Jacob talking to Bella at the bonfire about while Quil only sees Claire as a younger sister, how can Claire deny the bond once she’s older. Because of all the devotion and care Quil will have given Claire, it’s like she won’t have a choice and that’s what really twisted my stomach about imprinting.

It was nothing short of enslavement and grooming and I thought everyone got fucked from it. It was either girls like me and Janice where our love was put on the backburner, or like Claire who won’t even have a chance to experience life because the guy who use to help her collect pretty rocks will be endgame for her. 

The legends say an imprintee can choose, but Emily choose wrong by choosing Sam over me. Because if the tables had been reversed, I would take a painful death then willingly hurt my once cousin and sister of my heart.

By all accounts, imprinting is shit and I don’t know if this mating bond is much better. Then again maybe like others have said, I can’t imprint and I’m a genetic dead end. Being a mate of a vampire seems to only solidify that theory.

Because I know that imprinting fundamentally changes a person and I don’t like the idea of such a change happening. I love myself, flaws, and all and whoever I end up with should accept my flaws and work with me instead of claying me into their idea of perfection. That along with the idea that if I ever did imprint, if I could, would there be a girl like Janice or even me on the other side? Would she have her world ripped from her because her boyfriend won't be able to deny the imprint pull and she'll be left without even the explanation that I got once I turned wolf, about why her boyfriend shut her out in the cold? I didn't want to do that to another woman, I didn't want to cause another woman pain because of some stupid magical bullshit that happens. 

I don’t know how long I’ve been standing but I walk into my bedroom and immediately change, because I want, no I need answers.

It seems odd that I am talking to vampires and seeking knowledge from them, but if they can offer me something different and other than the horse shit the Elders gave me…I’ll take it.

I like the idea of knowing then the unknown because the unknown has only managed to fuck my life too many times to count.

I slip on some jeans and a cropped sweater, with sandals to match. I grab my purse on my way out and I stand before Demetri, I can feel my eyes blazing with renewed eagerness, because I just want to **_know_**.

“Well are you coming? I want to talk to Marcus. Let’s go.”

My Saturday was fucked the moment I caught the scent of a vampire, but if I can get this information about this mating bond, if I can weigh my choices – I don’t know what I’ll do but it’ll give me something to think about that’s for sure.

I don’t know if I’ll ever imprint or if I can, but I have an option in front of me: being a slave to some random guy or choosing a vampire instead?

I can only imagine the gossip that would spread in La Push, because it isn’t natural but that dark week in Texas taught me that nothing is natural about my life. That the wolf gene was just lying dormant until the opportune time came for it to be triggered. It was always there and I’m an anomaly anyway. I embraced it and ever since, I haven’t looked back – this shouldn’t be any different.

The old Leah would have taken imprinting, but after the freedom I grabbed for myself, being tied down to man and being forced to change for him, I hate the very idea of it.

I know I’ll be forced to weigh my options, while both are limited, they are options, nonetheless. I can take that.

Demetri looks at me oddly, maybe it’s because Aro told him how difficult I use to be and I seem so eager now, but I want answers, hell I demand them.

He tilts his head as he studies me and I know he can hear the accelerated beating of my heart, but I don’t care. I’m excited, because Marcus surely must has come across all kinds of different bonds and he’ll be like a library I can search through and try to find something to help me make a decision.

“Yes, let’s go.”

Posted: 04/20/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like imprinting and Eclipse only solidified that for me. Because knowing an imprintee has a choice and then knowing Emily chose her cousin's boyfriend over her own cousin, that blows. But when Jacob tells Bella that Claire won't be able to deny that level of devotion from Quil... *fucking gag*. Also when I think of how nonsensical imprinting is, because then that means that Jacob was attracted to Bella's uterus the whole time because of Ness?? I just...no. I hate it and while a mating bond is forming, Leah isn't just going to jump gun-ho for it. She wants the option and choice to choose and while I think we all know what she'll choose, she'll know Demetri before anything happens.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've heard of SarcastaBall, now get ready for SarcastaGirl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a friendly reminder that imprinting sucks lol. Also, I began thinking about the ecological effect on vampirism vegetarianism and yeah, critique there. 
> 
> Happy reading folks and be safe out there.
> 
> :)

The ride was quiet as we made our way towards the Volturi compound and I had thought he would badger me with questions about myself.

In a way it felt like the ‘talking’ stage most people go through when they are pursuing someone new, trying to get to know them and figure out if they’re worth the time. I snorted because duh, vampires are immortal as am I – if I figure out this mating bond, we had all the time in the world.

How nice.

I wondered why my hackles didn’t bristle around this vampire, just like they didn’t with the huge one, Felix. According to legends, shifters began to emerge in order to protect human life but with the stupid philosophical books I’ve invested in, sometimes humanity isn’t all that its made out to be.

I suspect that since I have come to terms to who and what I am, well my care for others outside my mom and brother has dwindled. I followed the rules growing up, I did my homework and had the 4.0 GPA: the scholarships and all the hopes and dreams. When Sam came back from his disappearance, I knew he needed me and so I pass up my chance at Seattle University and picked a junior college closer to home.

If I had the power to go back in time, I would warn myself of the stupidity of giving up the dreams I wanted for a man. Ugh. Stupid girl following her stupid heart.

Love conquers all, or so they say.

Yeah right, my ass.

Maybe that’s why I hated Sam so much, not because he ditched me for Emily but because he didn’t tell me. That our three-year history of love and friendship meant nothing in the face of such a consequential truth and I wasn’t given the option of making an informed decision and choice on the matter to stick around.

I’d like to think I would have stuck around because we were engaged, but the idea and notion that at any moment that while we were engage and he could just imprint on someone who was not me? I would have taken my losses and stepped away. Because I was Aileah Jacqueline Clearwater and I had the self-confidence back then to know when a cause was lost. I could’ve cashed out and bowed out and been on my way to something greater with another guy.

My mouth forms a grim line and I know that’s the truth of it. While it hurt that he imprinted on Emily, it’s the idea that I hadn’t even been given a head’s up on what could occur. I didn’t like to be left out in the rain.

When it rains it pours.

Alas, I wasn’t given that choice and instead it was made for me. The Elders can talk all they want about keeping it a secret but what good does it do when parents think their children are delinquents? Having kids not being able to confide in their parents and the bond that is shared between child and parent is forever altered because of such secrets.

My only saving grace is that my dad died, and my mom took over his position on the council, making her privy to all the wolfiness going on in La Push.

I tap my fingers against the passenger door leather panel, looking outside as I try to ignore the elephant in the room – er…car.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I was still excited because I may be able to find some answers to some of the long withstanding questions I have. But Castle de Vampire is not really my favorite place to be especially with their ruby eyes peering at me with curiosity. I know the scent of my wolf doesn’t make myself more appealing to them, so another credit to being a wolf.

“How come you guys aren’t vegetarians like the Cullens?”

Ever since I’ve known about the other kind of vampires, the kinds that like to munch of human flesh it made me curious as to why the Cullens and their Alaskan cousins aren’t the norm in vampire society.

I watch as Demetri shifts a little to face me, his eyes meeting me as his hands stay steady on the wheel.

“Tell me, how many vampires do you think there are in the world.”

The question catches me off guard and I guess that’s fair because I’ve been silent throughout our two-hour almost four-hour drive.

“I don’t know, you tell me. About 5,000?”

It’s a wild guess, but it seems plausible enough to me.

“500 actually.”

Now that surprises me, but then again if there were 5,000 human eating vampires around, there would be a lot more murders on the news. Yet again, the world is shit and there is always a murder on the news, so who’s to say who’s killing who.

“After a decade or so, the Cullens have to move. Not just because of the suspicion but also because of the ecological affect they have on the wildlife that surrounds them.”

As I find myself doing a lot lately, my hand immediately begins to rub my temples as I try to do the math and work out the logic Demetri is giving me.

“Now think about the effect a coven of seven vampires have on about 300,000 deer or four legged wildlife, give or take in the state of Washington. Any vampire can tell you that vegetarianism is not satisfying, not to us like it would be for humans. Eating deer leaves them half full, which is why they are still susceptible to human blood, unless you are like Carlisle who is so passionate about human life.”

“How do you know all this?” It feels like a stupid question and I know it is one when Demetri just looks at me with a dark eyebrow raised.

Between Aro and his freaky know all touch, the Volturi govern their world. Of course, they would know the ecological effect the Cullens would have on wildlife. Because as soon as they go over whatever limit they have for feeding, especially outside of hunting season, then the wildlife services get involved and on and on it goes. 

Right.

“Now compare that to how many murderers, rapists and pedophiles there are in this world? Who cares that a rapist is dead or a child molester?”

It’s a grim assessment, but even I can admit that its better than using taxpayers dollars to house and feed the scummiest of this Earth.

“So that’s what it is, playing god are we?”

At this, Demetri laughs, and it is a beautiful sound, I can’t help but roll my eyes.

Vampires and their allure.

“Aro once said if we are going to play gods, we may as well be merciful ones.”

I immediately snort out a laugh, oh the irony, because with one touch Aro knows your whole life story. The all-seeing god, oh that’s a good one.

“Can’t disagree there.”

If someone had asked me to say that a year ago, I would’ve gladly bitten their head off. I’ve been through such a change and maybe I’ve gotten a little bit more selfish with myself and I can’t complain about it. Making jokes and laughing with vampires was not in my plans, but I think I’ve aligned myself with the idea of ‘chaotic neutral’; just doing shit on the fly and hoping it sticks to the wall.

I am who I am, everyone else can piss off if they don’t like it.

When I realized that there are other vampires outside of the Cullens, that there could even be other groups of shifters and actual werewolves…I figured it’s a dog eat dog world. While I can be optimistic, my pessimism is something I gained from my father and I’m not letting it go. Not when it saves me from the pain of disappointment that usually comes with placing people on a pedestal or even having standards.

Maybe if I hadn’t been such an optimistic girl who thought about marriage and first loves, then my heart wouldn’t have gotten ripped to shreds six ways to Sunday.

You live and learn.

The rest of the drive is in silence and I wonder once more why I haven’t wanted to take this guy’s head off. Because even when I met Felix the first time, while I wanted to flee, fighting wasn’t exactly at the top of my list of options.

So, unlike my time in a pack mind, where if I saw a vampire, my go to urge was to kill and be done with the task. It’s another thought that I must store away to question later as we pull into the compound.

I wonder if these guys just sit on their thrones all day, because just like the first time I saw them, they all sit implacably in their seats – not a care in the world.

“Ah, I seen you’ve brought Aileah back.”

My lips immediately pout, “sorry, but I came on my own free-will. This guy just gave me a lift.” I state off handedly as I point towards Demetri who is standing behind me.

Also, is everyone going to start calling me by my full name now? In a way its kind of nice about not just being ‘Leah’ again.

I’ll take what I can get even from vampires.

Aro seems interested in what I’m saying but there’s something about his eagerness…that reminds me of Seth. Always looking at things with curiosity and wanting to know how it works. My heart pains a little because I do miss my baby brother, but I miss the girl I use to be also before my life got fucked.

The way I notice how the guards gravitate around Aro and even how Caius and Marcus defer to him, he’s like the sun in the way Seth and Jacob are too. Making people drawn to them because they glow up this dark world with all its ugliness.

If I didn’t have any sense and wrote an email to my brother comparing him to one of the kings of vampires, he would probably shit a brick but then ask if he can hang out with Aro because obviously, they would get along. Vampire or no. Seth has a little crush on Edward fucking Cullen for whatever reason, I’m sure Aro would be a step up.

I hide my smile and try not to snicker before I relax my face back into impassiveness.

I look towards my right, where the guy who is literally dead to the world is sitting, his face as blank as a white piece of paper.

“Marcus, I hear you’re the guy who can see bonds.”

Surely addressing them by name is infinitely better than saying ‘hey leech! Gimme the info on your powers and I’ll skedaddle right on out of here’ is so not going to work.

My daddy always said sometimes it better to play the game and find out what you can win in the long haul.

It a good thing I have literally forever to play it.

Marcus doesn’t show any surprise at me addressing him, though his eyes look interested compared to the rest of his body.

Considering I was depressed as hell a few months ago, it makes me wonder if anyone has tried to help him. Or do vampires even get depressed? I want to ask, but even that’s a little bold for me. Maybe if I give him a bag of blood, he’ll spill his secrets to me. A tit for tat kind of thing going.

“Yes…” his voice is so soft, just like Aro’s but without the cheerfulness.

Geez, what a buzzkill.

I look around the room, outside of the ancient three brothers, their guards are as still as stone. With only Demetri behind me and I can feel his gaze on my body, and I fight not to roll my eyes as I walk closer to Marcus’ throne.

“Well…do you mind giving me the details? Also have you ran into any other shapeshifters? Have you heard of imprinting? It’s a bond of sorts.”

Because someone as old as him, must have come across all different sorts of bonds and I am willing to hang around Castle de Vampire if it means getting some answers.

I don’t feel any fear and maybe I’ve gotten more stupid since my time away from La Push, or I just don’t give a damn what happens but I stand directly in front of Marcus, trying to coax something out of this.

I don’t doubt that any human or someone more human than vampire have gotten this close to the ancient without the prerequisite being them drained of their blood.

I’ve always been call hot-headed, but I find myself thinking more logically and clearly then ever before, so that has to say something about this new boldness I’ve gained. Or that there are worst ways to die then by vampire.

If I go to heaven or hell, I can say “hey I got bit by a vampire, how’d you die? Oh, a stab wound? Huh…boring.”

“You seem quite eager to know,” he rolls out.

“Considering I’ve been told that I have a potential mating bond with a vampire and that I’ve been told before I’m fucking genetic dead end, well color me surprise.”

Then for some reason I do some spirit fingers to get my point across and once more, I am glad that my sarcasm serves as a defense mechanism. If I were a superhero, my powers would be sarcasm, I’d be so got damn witty that the bad guys would just shoot themselves to hear me stop talking.

‘Oh my god, what is that?! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, NO! It’s SarcastaGirl!’

I feel silly wiggling my fingers but then I laugh out loud at myself, because really my life could get no weirder.

Wolf girls runs away from home after giving everyone save her mom and brother the middle finger and a big fat ‘kiss my ass’ letter. Be depressed and walked around Texas for a month sweating her ass off before catching a flight and staying in the country that houses the elite vampires.

Now I stand in front of three vampires, I should count my lucky stars. Because where racism exist against Native Americans, I encounter a prejudiced fuck who hates wolves so much so that he led a crusade against werewolves. Though my saving grace is that I am not actually a werewolf. It has also made me think if I can shift into another animal, or if I am bound to be just a wolf only.

Another thing to add to my mental list of questions that will certainly lead to an existential crisis sooner or later.

I should write a book, or better yet a damn soap opera. I’d even hire some big actress to act out my life, at least I’d have a nice soundtrack to go with all the shittiness.

“Oh, and how do you know you’re barren?”

When I was growing up, I never saw myself as the mothering type, outside of Seth, I couldn’t really be bothered with the idea of kids. I wanted to go off and do things in life but when I met Sam and learned about Joshua Uley and Sam’s wish to be the kind of father his wasn’t, well I caved. Because I had loved Sam and wanted to give him all the things that would make him happy because I thought he deserved it.

Outside of my disdain for him, I’m sure the imprinting will work its magic to give him all the puppies in the world.

Bippity, boppity, boo.

It wasn’t until my periods stop that I panicked at not being a mother, because the option and choice has been snatched before I could even think about it.

“Do you really want hear all about menstruation cycles and my chocolate cravings…right here and right now?”

I could make joke about vampires and menstruation, but I keep my mouth shut. It’s one thing that’s made me curious about Bella and Edward, though I don’t like either of them because I think their selfish, but it always seemed so unbalanced. Does she not get weirded out that her boyfriend can smell her uterine lining detaching?

Ugh, why does my mind work the way it does? Do shut up Lee.

Maybe Marcus enjoys my sarcasm because everyone seems surprised that their residential zombie vampire leader is speaking out loud and dare, I say…looking piqued with interest.

‘Step right up! Step right up! Aileah Clearwater, your favorite comedian and freak of nature! She can even get a dead man to smile! Come and see!’

Marcus slowly rises from his throne, his robes billowing out and I’m immediately reminded of Professor Snape from Harry Potter.

For the life of me, I can’t imagine why vampires are wearing robes. Their clothes seem so outdated, outside of Felix and Demetri but maybe that’s because they journeyed out of their cave into the land of the living where the rest of us normal and semi-normal folks dwell. Got to blend in some way, I guess.

I begin to follow him without being beckoned and once again I am somewhat alarmed that my hackles aren't up, but no one seems threatening. Even that small girl, Jane looks disinterested in me as she stands behind Aro.

The worst thing that can happen is I die. Literally the worst thing.

Anything else is up for grabs and Marcus seems to be willing to divulge some information, so yes, I shall count my lucky stars indeed that my internal danger alarm is broken at the moment.

I turn around, staring at Demetri, “are you coming loverboy? I imagine this concerns you too.”

Posted: 04/26/2020

Edited: 04/26/2020


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus drones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I got caught up reading some fics on my reading list and just wanted to enjoy them lol.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments. My little snarky fic that Leah is just rolling through, truly chaotic neutral and I love it.

You know that moment in horror movies, where the girl is walking down a dark hall and she hears something but then brushes it off as nothing but really, it’s the killer ready to pounce on her?

That’s me now, except my alarm isn’t ringing to jump ship and I walk deeper in the abyss of this castle.

Quite literally Casa de Vampire is a labyrinth of hallways and arches and I wonder why the hell don’t they decorate the place. Its all drab with black and red, while I love those two colors, its all just a little _too_ much even for me and my macabre sense of humor.

I count the steps I’ve taken from the throne room, just to be on the safe side as Marcus opens a door and I find my senses assaulted by leech sweet perfume.

Ugh.

It’s so concentrated, I literally want to plug my nose.

“Do you guys not believe in windows? Sheesh.”

Or even a fan or something, buy a fucking A/C unit and get some air circulating in here people!

The sweet scent is accented by the smell of dust settled upon books in their library that rivals the library at my college.

I receive no comment from neither Loverboy nor Sadboy. My hands immediately wash over my face and I almost wish Aro had followed us too, because at least he’s exciting in the way a little kid is with a new toy.

Although Marcus still has that ‘pleased’ expression on his face instead of the dour one I had seen before, so there’s hope for him after all.

“Please, do sit Aileah.”

I wonder how long it took for his voice to become that soft, its not as tantalizing as Demetri's, it feels more like a feather or petal floating on a body of water.

I sit down, surprisingly the chair is comfortable and Demetri sits down next to me his body close to mine as Marcus sits from across us.

“Do explain, this imprinting that you mentioned.”

Licking my lips, I lean back in my seat, my sandal slapping the sole of my left foot that I crossed over my right leg in thought.

“From what I’ve seen or how its describe its like being off kilter for your whole life and then once you meet someone, _the one_ , then your whole life makes sense and you’re head over heels for them. Utterly disturbing really, not knowing someone and then having it decided that they’re your soulmate.”

I sniff at my own words, because before I may have been jealous about imprinting but time away has given me the insight that that shit is for suckers. I would rather march to my own beat then sing a tune for someone else. Not to mention its dangerous, losing yourself in someone and all because of a moment of eye contact?

No thank you.

But having Demetri next to me shakes the pedestal I put myself on and I remind myself that I got a choice here, unlike some wolves I know.

Thank you very much.

“It’s supposed to be about genetics and a wolf finding the best mate to reproduce with.”

My thoughts can’t help but drift to Claire and I still worry about that, because really the imprintees are shoved into the ‘baby making’ category and that’s it. Whatever goals they had, whatever aspirations like Rachel are put on pause indefinitely because wolves are needed in La Push and that’s where they’ll remain. I even worry for Seth that he won’t be able to spread his wings like me and take the world by its reigns.

“Complete bullshit if you ask me.”

Marcus didn’t, but any opporunity to rant about imprinting and I’ll take the chance. Because everyone in La Push sees it as some end all be all to a romance story when no one can see the tragedy of it all.

If I didn’t know better, I would think they all drank the Kool-Aid and I was the only one who didn’t.

Hell, people already think Sam has a fucking cult surrounding him, why not add a little Kool-Aid and sugar to the mix to really get the party started?

“I have never come across an imprinting bond. Though it may be specific to your tribe, I have encountered other shifters before.”

My interests are immediately sparked, and I wish I brought a notepad or my laptop to take notes with.

“Were they wolves also?”

It took me awhile to like my wolf and then learn to love it, but if I could become another animal I would shift into a cheetah. Usually solitary animals that come out if they mate and for food. My kind of animal really. They can roam on their own and do their own thing not to mention their speed.

Too bad there isn’t a manual on this shit, like ‘Shapeshifting for Dummies’ or “Shapeshifting 101’.

A girl can dream.

“No, some were bears, the Seneca in New York shift into foxes. Shapeshifting is also found in South America and Africa, though their shifting is more aligned to the animals in their nature there such as leopards and lions.”

Marcus states this as if he’s describing the color of the sky, but I’m floored. There are more shifters out there, all living life and from Marcus they don’t even imprint!

“Are there any female shifters?”

I’m holding out hope here.

“No, unfortunately not. Fortunately for you, you are one of a kind.”

For some reason I feel like a kid again, when you draw your mom or dad a picture and you think it’s the best thing ever and they smile and say ‘oh sweetie, its so beautiful truly one of a kind.’ Only ten years later when you go up to the attic and see the sloppy macaroni art and you’re like ‘who the hell made this’ and surprise its your name signed at the bottom.

It’s the A+ for effort even though you haven’t done anything spectacular feeling that washes over me.

“Well…alright.”

Because I don’t have much else to say on that account, there are other shapeshifters out there and I’m still the only female walking around with the shifty gene.

Nice.

Not.

I would love to have some solidarity or maybe even a bridge club with other female shifters where we can all bash men and describe the pains of having our naked body in their dirty little perverted thoughts. 

Then again the boys in La Push were nothing short of hormonal little boys who wanted to get their wee wee's wet and me being the only female wolf, I know for a fact I had given them spank material to last them a life time. 

The upside of being a lone wolf, no more voyeuristic little boys hanging around.

Hell yeah.

“Uhm…can you tell me about this mating bond?”

The last thing I need is the idea of hitching myself to a vampire and then being disappointed with him or whatever. Oh, I know I’m attracted to Demetri I mean who wouldn’t be?

He’s the literal definition of ‘tall, dark and handsome’ not to mention his long hair that gives off that _look_ that Edward Cullen strives for but doesn't quite pull it off as effortlessly as the guy next to me. Though the way Bella acts like her boyfriend is a god sent in the form of marble, I like to think that Loverboy here takes Edward by a mile.

“Most vampires have mates, either born or unborn. A vampire will know the potential of a mate even in human form as they feel inexplicably drawn to them. Not too much as your ‘imprinting’ more or less like a sure feeling in your gut that you should follow it.”

So basically, Demetri had a hunch about me? I wonder how long he waited, to have that feeling in his gut that tells him 'hey see that girl over there?! She just may be what you're looking for. Go on...shoo shoo!'

I begin to laugh at this because my life is seriously a bunch of ironies.

I then purse my lips as I rubbed my hands together wryly trying to figure out what this means as Marcus begins to drone about mating and what to expect.

I’m not too focused on that except on the matter than once again I feel as though I am right back to square one. Imprinting doesn’t give you a choice, but this mating bond allows for the potential to be reached and maybe that’s the silver lining in all this?

I don’t know, but I am curious.

“Alright, I’ll bite.”

Seriously, outside of my job, working out and going wolf every few weeks, I don’t have much else going on.

If only because Demetri is cute and while I don’t have a period anymore, I am still a hormonal young adult who hasn’t had sex since the whole wolf thing began.

I sneak a glance at Demetri who is still looking at me and the only thing I can think of, is yeah, I could do worse.

Hell, I already **_have_**.

In a way this feels like speed dating but on crank because I feel like I’m going through the motions, but this is the most excitement that I had since forever.

I’m sure the Council would have a lot to say about this, about me wagging my tail at this potential but considering folks in La Push already think me a whore because I could be found coming out the woods with short shorts and a crop top with a bunch of half-naked boys, well…may as well go out guns ah’ blazing.

I have never been the kind to do things half way, I'm glad to say.

I turn towards Demetri, who ruby gaze hasn’t left my face and I frown slightly wondering if he has a staring problem.

“Why do you keep staring at me?”

Its not like vampires don’t have perfect memory recall, at least to everything that’s happened after their changed into a blood drinking zombie.

“You are beautiful.”

I snort and shake my head, I may be horny and a bit wanting in the romance department, but it won’t be that easy to crack my code by giving me a compliment.

“Tell me something I don’t know Loverboy. So how exactly does this ‘potential’ get met? Do we go on dates? Because I would really like that.”

Marcus cuts into our banter and I seriously feel like I am back in college with Professor Davies who happened to be the most boring guy ever. He just droned and droned about shit that had nothing to do with the class.

While Marcus is informative, I really wish he had some mirth in his voice instead of sounding like, well y’know a deadman.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Damn.

Posted: 05/08/2020

Edited: 05/08/2020


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone call home, because every girl needs a pep talk before a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late, lol I usually try to post once a week but I've been caught up in 'A Shadowed Path' and there's like a new emergence of Elia fics that I have been gorging myself on. I've also come up with another idea for a fic, and I'm already plotting out the details. My creative juices are flowing, the only thing this quarantine is giving me. Just graduated and had my undergraduate degree conferred. So very happy but now I'm bored and I'm looking forward to grad school. 
> 
> Hope everyone is being safe!

When I first got my job working in the museum’s archives, I just wanted a job to help supplement my income. But now that I think about it, being an archivist is such a simple and mundane job – its _normal_. My whole life is nothing short put weird freaky shit happening and my job is basically filing away information and then compiling said information. It's as boring and simple as one can get and I **_love_** it.

It’s like a simple two step dance I do, when I was a child, I had the usual dreams and aspirations of wanting to be an astronaut or even a scientist. But there is something so rewarding about a simple job that gives me good money, I had gotten lucky with getting the position considering I’m so young. With my enhanced smelling, when it comes time to storing and preserving documents, I can finish it in a few hours compared to others. I can take the scents of which documents are more fragile than others, which ones are close to breaking apart and using my gentle hands to preserve it. 

I don't know why taking care of something so fragile makes me happy, but it does and it keeps my mind occupied.

It’s a good gig, decent money, and decent hours. My coworkers are alright in the way that they hardly talk to me since I work in the basement and I’m almost always left to my own devices compared to my supervisor who is always out bidding for art and schmoozing up rich people.

Mom and Seth had just Skyped me a few days ago, asking about what I was doing and I had to play music in the background lest they hear the fluent Italian being spoken by my neighbors and the commotion outside on the streets.

They were curious about my life, wanting to know all the drama but as crazy as it sounds – and believe me it is crazy, I was dare I say almost _happy?_

Almost happy as if, I was taking my new acquaintance with red-eyed vampires well, though I would never tell mom that. That my job was nice, and that yoga helps me keep a calm mind, that I have a suitor – Demetri’s words not mine, for my hand.

So medieval.

I like it.

Because when I had dated Sam, it just seemed right, he was the Golden Boy of La Push and I was the Golden Girl.

Now I’m just the girl who works around old wrinkly documents and my social life is hanging around walking stone men and yelling at my T.V when I watch my soap operas.

Life is good, I can honestly say.

Maybe its because things are so simple even with the complexity current running beneath, but I’ve had worse.

Demetri is…he’d be perfect if he weren’t a vampire and I weren’t a damn wolf. That’s just the thing about life, you get the good and bad, the pretty and the ugly all at once.

I had taken Marcus’ words in stride, wanting to prove to myself that I’m not the same hotheaded girl I use to be, mad at the world and wanting to punch and kick any and everything in my way.

Today would be the first day, or first time on a date, because I had been pleasantly surprised when Demetri had asked me when I left Volterra. I didn’t have any real reason to say no and I made up my mind that I would _try_ , so here I am scrubbing away at my skin in the shower as I count down the minutes until he arrives.

My past week had been as normal as it could get after finding out I had some weird connection to a vampire old enough to rival the ages of the Volturi Kings. I almost wished I had a girlfriend I could talk to, about all the weird shit and even the mundane things, but instead I spoke to Maria through my television screen as she dealt with the fallout of her cheating boyfriend.

I’m resourceful like that.

I haven’t been on a date, since forever and while a lot of guys had liked me, I had only ever given my time to Sam.

What a fucking waste that had been.

I regret now not having more experience, not knowing what to talk about as a conversation breaker, because the only thing I really had going was my sarcasm and some people don’t appreciate my sarcastic quips so now I’m drawing up blank.

Demetri made no mention of where he was taking me and if I had any sense, I would fear he haul me into an alley and sink his teeth into my neck, but once again my internal alarm is malfunctioning or maybe its finally broken.

Broken that I now realize, danger is everywhere and can be anything and that my wolf instincts are all jacked up because my wolf realizes that Demetri could be hers, could be _mine_ and as far as catches go, he’s a great one.

Outside of all the biological problems.

A catch 22.

Right, back to getting dressed.

I rummage through my wardrobe and I decide on a black tee with faded blue jeans and a cream-colored knitted cardigan, my black Madden Girl Shelbie wedge sandals. I pulled my hair back into a low ponytail, leaving my neck exposed where my golden rose necklace lay, that I had gotten from my dad on my 16th birthday.

I looked okay, but my nerves were shot. My palms felt a little clammy and I pinched my cheeks, trying to shake myself out of the nervous wreck I was becoming.

Because having my neck exposed around a vampire was _not_ a good idea.

Going on a damn date with one wasn’t better but maybe it was my deeper conscious or my wolf being the possessive little bitch she was, since she couldn’t hold onto Sam that was making me do what I was doing now.

Calling my mom.

Long distance phone bill be damned.

I pressed the green button and held my breath, as the line began to ring.

I almost hoped she was at home, ready to give me advice as she always did when I was just a girl.

The other part of me wished she weren’t at home, away snogging with Charlie and leaving me to sink or swim in my own damn mess.

Be careful what you wish for.

“Hello?”

“Mom!” I had breathed out, though we just talked a few days ago, hearing her voice was like a heavy blanket to stop my nerves.

“Hi, Sweetie! I’m surprised to see you calling.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll send some money home to help with the bill, I…I have a date.” The words came out like a garbled mess, but I patted myself on the back for not hanging up when I heard my mom pick up.

I pull the phone away from my ear as I hear my mom squeal.

_Jeez._

“Oh Leah, this is so amazing! Who is he?! Where are you?! What’s he like?”

I can immediately here the ‘Jeopardy’ theme song, as I want to say, “what is a vampire?”

“Oh, yeah he’s nice.”

I cough into my hands.

“Mom, you know I don’t want anyone to find out, lest they get the idea to come and drag me back.”

Some days her mom understands, other days she just wants to know where I am. I don’t blame her, but I seriously think I’ll stab someone if they thought to crash in on my life, anymore than they already have.

“Sorry, sorry. Alright well what’s his name? Where did you meet him?”

Ah, this here is the tricky part about phone calls. They leave a trail and I hadn’t thought about the phone bill that will say this call took place in Italy. I didn’t want to lie to my mom, but I could already tell I had to.

The only other time I had called was when I ran to France, enjoying the forests there and had made a quick call back home on the whim and adrenaline of letting my wolf free.

“His name is Demetrius.” Not a total lie.

The thing about lying is that you must keep lying to cover up your original one. I don’t even know if _this_ thing with Demetri will go anywhere and I don’t want to get not just my hopes up but also my mom’s.

It would be an understatement if it were said that Sue Clearwater had been waiting for me to date again.

“He’s Greek,” I added on lamely.

My mother began to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ at the idea of me having a Greek lover.

Oh god.

“We met at a museum and we’ve dancing around each other for awhile until he finally got the nerve to ask me out. I had to be in Rome for work, so he’s meeting me here.”

I seriously hope this is a believable lie, but considering I had been lying for months with a bunch of other wolves in my head, maybe I’ve gotten better at it then I thought as I hear my mom squeal again.

“Oh, he’s Greek and taking you out to dine in Italy. Oh Leah!”

I feel terrible for lying to my mom, but its way better then saying “Hiyya mom! Listen, I got a date in a few minutes with this vampire, you have any tips for me? Other then getting my neck ravaged? Oh, you don’t? Well I gotta go, k bye.”

“What does he look like?”

I could offer to send a picture, but no doubt if Seth saw the picture and was hanging around Edward, then the gig would be up.

I could be like those girls who just post side profiles of the beau, keeping everyone guessing.

I snort at the idea. He’s not even my beau, he’s not anything but another wrench that’s been thrown into my life. But the only good thing now is, I’ve learned to just go with it.

If I had known this before, I wouldn’t have put up such a fight about my shifting.

But you live and learn.

“He’s…devilishly handsome. He has shoulder length hair, and pretty eyes. His skin tone is olive and he has smooth skin.”

Now I hold in my laughter, because the first time I ever saw Demetri he looked like the Fallen Angel of Lucifer, that his eyes were even if burgundy. That his skin _was_ smooth because he was practically marble.

The irony of my life is just too good to be true.

“You have to send a picture!”

My stomach drops and I agree weakly, not sure how I could pull that off, but I say yes anyway, because my mom sounds so happy.

I hear a knock at the door, and I know it’s Demetri.

Right on time.

Then I snort again because what does time mean to immortal beings?

“Is that him?!”

I mumbled a ‘yeah’ as I go and unlock the door and let him in.

Demetri makes a striking figure and it ought to be a crime to look this great, to look like this next to someone like me. Who just months before, had bags underneath my eyes, and willowly figure from crying myself hoarse. 

I’m relieved to see that he isn’t dressed fancy either and my shoulders sag in relief.

He’s wearing a black turtleneck, with the sleeves slightly rolled up, black jeans and black boots. Only thing that really stands out, outside of his damn pretty face is the bouquet of red roses.

I’m ashamed to say my heart skip a beat twice and it felt even more mortified at the idea that I know he heard it do so.

No time to begin tripping over my own two feet and falling face first.

Get it together girl!

“Hello, Aileah.”

He offers the bouquet to me and I grab them gingerly, thankful I say, “Thanks Loverboy. I’ll put these in water.”

The only mistake I made was temporarily forgetting my mom was still on the line.

“Loverboy?! Leah! Is that him? Oh, he sounds magnifi-”

I immediately cut her off because I know Demetri can hear my mother squeal and if I was back home in the kitchen, I can imagine her jumping up and down.

“I gotta go mom. I’ll send money home for the bill, love you, bye!”

It’s rude to rush your mom off the phone, but it would have been ruder for my mom to begin gushing about Demetri while he’s in the same room.

I can only guess what her real reaction would be like if I told her he was a vampire. I know at some point; I’ll admit to this. Even if nothing works out, I do not doubt I will be able to keep the “I went on a date with a vampire” story to myself.

Funny enough, I’m not nervous when Demetri follows me into my apartment, because we’ve been here before, except last time I was wearing sweats and lounging around on my couch.

I dip into the kitchen, emptying out my old vase of flowers I got from the market and replacing it with the red roses.

It feels hauntingly beautiful as the centerpiece to my small little kitchen and I feel like it’s a metaphor for where I am right now. I’m the kitchen, small and quaint and Demetri is the vase of roses, looking so out of placed compared to my marketplace flowers.

I turn around, drying off my hands from the roses on a dish towel as I walk back in the living room.

I gather up my nerve, I had been dating a dormant shape shifter for years, at least I know what Demetri is.

“So, where are we off to?”

Preferably not a dark alley.

Or so I hope.

Posted: 05/17/2020

Edited: 05/17/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the pintrest for this fic, giving me inspiration for fashion.   
> https://pin.it/4GOKIvP


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A game of 20 Questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What it do baaaaby. The world is crazy, always has been but it feels like the dial has been cranked up even more than usual. Be safe folks.

My first date with Sam had been at a little diner in La Push, where we ate greasy cheeseburgers and split a strawberry milkshake.

My first date with Demetri is as bizarre as our situation is, because while I knew the Cullens navigated throughout Forks passing themselves off as humans – with extremely good looks, I had not thought a red eyed vampires would do the same thing too.

Because from what I knew of the different vampires, the golden eyes were more poise and collected, considering their animal diet but now I am forced to rethink all the personal bias I have…begrudgingly – once again I might add.

Demetri easily navigates us through the crowds on the pier, where there are lots of lights, noises and the smell of food that has my stomach growling softly.

The sun has set, so there is no need for alarm with Demetri here sparkling off like a damn disco ball, but I cannot help but keep stealing glances at him, keep watching him as we walk through the crowds of people.

I don’t know what I’m looking for, some kind of switch to go off and he begins a feeding frenzy with the fat guy eating an extremely long hot dog? Then again if he does flip, what the hell can I do? Demetri has over a thousand years of experience over my measly three years of wolfing it out.

Like am I supposed to just phase right in front of everyone if that does happen?

I take a deep breath and look at the facts.

Fact 1. I didn’t get all dressed up to go wolf in the middle of a pier.

Fact 2. The Volturi have been in Italy since ???, obviously they have human connections in some form to be able to get the meals that they drink.

Fact 3. If they’ve lived in Italy for so long, without having the need to move around like the Cullens, obviously they know how to curb their appetite.

Not to mention it would be very hypocritical of them to go against their own rules that they have set by causing anarchy whenever they get hungry.

From what I understand from what Bella told Jacob, the Volturi are supposed to be like greedy people, who covet the Cullen’s because of Edward and Alice and even mood ring boy, Jasper.

_And yet…_

The FBI and CIA do the same thing too, looking at hackers, even criminals and giving them no jail time if they’ll come hack for the government. Because that’s just what the government does, looking for the best of the best, which makes sense.

Another begrudging fact, I must admit to.

If I’m chaotic neutral, and just going with the flow now, no matter the consequences then the Volturi are more like lawful neutral…which is something I can work with.

I am agreeable person, at least now I am. 

We arrive at this restaurant that seems small and quint, away from all the noise though they are seated outside where they can still watch people walking around, other couples who are holding hands and sneaking kisses.

It’s _romantic._

I make it my mission to record every single detail, because I know my mom will want those details, as she is undoubtedly waiting by the phone back in La Push for me to call back and spill the beans.

The phone bill will be hefty this month, that’s for sure.

Demetri sits across from me, ordering two glasses of water, though I’m sure he wishes he could say, “A glass of water and a cup of O negative. Add a lemon squeeze to that please, would you?”

My hands idly reach towards my neck, toying with my necklace as I try to keep myself busy and not run off with my thoughts, which is extremely hard to do now that we are waiting as I look over the open menu.

I’m not shy about eating in front of men, but it would be nice if my date, actually ate.

Heh, something I’ll have to get used to, if this bond thing works out.

“Do you have any questions for me?”

The drive here to the pier and then their walk to this restaurant had been quiet, outside of the conversation they had in her apartment about her new flowers, that had been it.

“That’s a loaded question. Of course, I have questions! I mean duh. Don’t you have questions too?”

He smiles at me, apparently amused by my short tangent but I don’t get rattled, no not me. Not anymore.

“Let’s play 20 Questions, yeah, that’ll work.”

I’ve been out of the dating game for a few years, but 20 Questions has never failed to be the ice breaker for any person and I’m proud of myself for thinking so quickly.

Just as I am about to fire off my first question, the waiter comes back with our drinks and I’m irritated that the ditzy blonde is eyeing Demetri when I’m the one that’s actually starving here.

Bitch.

I wonder what would happen if I kicked her in the shins, I’m almost tempted to do so until she finally turns toward me with a fake smile that matches her fake extensions.

“I’ll take the chicken parmesan and pasta.”

Because no matter how long I’m in Italy, I’ll never get tired of pasta or pizza. Hurray for my wolfiness for burning through carbs. Not every girl can eat a basket of breadsticks and not have to worry about the weight gain.

Hallelujah!

“What’s your favorite color?”

As I munch on the breadsticks, I’m going quickly through my glass of water and so I discreetly change my empty cup, with his full one – washing down the bread as I take a quick sip.

Heh, guess that second glass came in handy.

“Black, what is yours?”

“Black and grey, they're nice colors and they go with anything.”

With the bullshit I was dealing with, I had adopted the dull colors for my own, liking how I could just blend in when I did wear those colors. Before everything hit the fan, I could be caught wearing shades of yellow and light blues, but it felt false to wear such bright colors when I was anything but a dark twisted bitch with anger issues at the time.

“Favorite food?”

I snort at him asking, as though I will even bother asking the question back to him when I already know his answer.

“I like Italian, but I also like Korean too.”

The rare times I had been able to hit up Seattle and enjoy the taste of finer cuisine other than the usual I ate on the Rez and Forks.

“How old are you?”

“19 and you?”

“A thousand years old.”

I choke on a bit of bread, as he said it so blasé like, and I nod my head, slowly trying to finish the painting I was making of not just Demetri but the Volturi in general. I mean I knew Demetri was old but having admit to be that old really threw me for a loop, I'll admit. 

It seemed off to be discussing this so openly, but we were far enough away from prying eyes and I’m sure Demetri would have smelled another vamp or something _other_ if that was the case.

I felt relaxed and I began firing off more questions, ranging from when he was changed and how he joined the Volturi, to what was his favorite activity, which was actually fighting with Felix because the two of them shared a brotherly bond.

My meal had been served as the blonde waiter made ‘googoo’ eyes at Demetri and I felt my anger flare up and hissed at the girl, “Beat it sugar tits, he’s taken.”

I think it had more to do with my wolf, eyeing the girl maliciously, the idea of a threat to what would be, what _could_ be hers, and the waiter scurried off looking frightened.

I may have cleaned up nice after I hit rock bottom and began my ascend from the abyss, but I could still show my fangs when I wanted too.

Demetri chuckles lightly at my words, and I just glare at him, stabbing my piece of chicken viciously as I chewed and waved my free hand for him to continue.

What? I mean the bond was there, and the pang I use to feel around my heart felt infinitely better when Demetri was around. My wolf liked him enough and I had a short circuit in my head that did not make me scurry to the hills after being in a vampire compound. That had to account for something, I think I’ll make a pro and cons list.

Pros:

  1. My mom will be happy I’ve finally moved on.



  1. Since there’s no legends of a female wolf and imprinting for me seems out of the question, I can date someone who actually understands the shit I’m going through.



  1. While Loverboy is no wolf, he is a tracker and that’s as good as being a glorified hound, so if I do enough gymnastics and convolute this information, hounds are descendants of wolves, so technically…he is an apex predator like a wolf. It’s a reach, but I’ll take it.



  1. My life has stopped making sense a long time ago, why bother trying to make sense of it now? Life is simpler when you don't have questions that require convoluted answers and twisted logic. Sue me, if I want to take the easy way out, although this is anything but easy. 



Cons:

  1. ???



I couldn’t keep bringing up he was a vampire, because yes of course he was, and a human margarita drinker at that, but outside of that what were the real cons?

He had a job, as far as jobs go. He was pretty much like the BAU on Criminal Minds, flying around the world to put down naughty vampires who decided to step a toe out of line. He had his own money, while I wasn’t a gold digger this place **_is_** a level up from the swanky diner, I had gone to with Sam. I had my own financial and job security, so it was nice to not have to worry about that with a partner.

Okay, yes he eats humans, but they’re of the bad variety kind, the kind who hurt others, actual innocents like kids and defenseless woman and men so I mean…Superman goes around with stupid cape and saving people, while Loverboy wears black and red for his own cloak, instead of blue and red, it gets the job done regardless.

I’m not coming up with any real cons, I mean outside of what everyone back home would say, but while Seth and Mom remain in La Push, my apartment is home. With my too small shower and my bed that has a small indent from where I sleep in the middle of it.

That’s home.

Not the place where I had been in hell and the community around me saw me as a harpy (though I didn’t help by being such a bitch, but still…) who was an interloper to Sam and Emily, oh Emily who baked her damn muffins, that weren’t even all that to begin with.

Heh.

Sure, I had a few of those muffins, but they sure as shit don’t make up for the back stab of the century. She and those muffins can kiss my plump ass.

“What are you thinking about?”

I'd been so busy cutting away at my chicken and eating in silence, I forgot to keep up the conversation of questions.

“Making a pros and cons list in my head, though I can say I am having a hard time coming up with cons. Outside of you being a vampire, at this point I just don’t give a damn.”

Because everyday people went out into the world and got their own happiness or did what they felt like, consequences be damned and here I am contemplating when I had just told myself to just go with the flow.

“I can assume the pros outweigh the cons then?”

I put down my cutlery, leaning back in my chair, looking out towards the pier, the night getting cooler and seeing people walking, some with little kids and folks even getting portraits painted.

“You assumed right, Loverboy.”

I could hear him opening his wallet to leave a few bills down for the meal and I was almost tempted to be a bitch and take back the tip he left for the ditzy waitress but I shrugged my shoulder as I watched different artists set up their booths.

I grabbed a hold of his hand, startlingly cold before it warmed from my blazing heat.

I know this decision is stupid, probably will get me a lot of flack when I get back to La Push to see my mom and brother, no doubt the Elders are still pissed by the letter I gave them but I was never the one to do anything half way.

“Let’s go get a portrait done. I’m in need of more decoration for my apartment.”

Which is true because outside of the few pictures I had from La Push, the walls on my apartment were bare to look at.

If Demetri is surprised by my hand being dwarfed by his, he doesn’t show it though he looks smug at the fact. I think all vampires are smug, well except for Marcus who is just depressed but I bet once his depression clears away, he’ll be smug with the rest of them.

“Tell me, what is something you’ve always wanted to do?”

Oh, you mean not give a damn about other people?

“Always wanted to visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Catch a couple of beads, eating some king cake and try out the local cuisine.”

My dad had visited New Orleans and he had regaled me with stories of the night life when he had gone, of the different foods with all kinds of different flavors. I had always wanted to go; I probably should have when I camped out in Texas, but I wanted to get the hell out of the U.S of A as soon as possible.

“What about you?” I ask as we near a painter, he must have seen us coming because he looked pleased as punch for his first customers of the evening.

“To fall in love,” he answers back quickly.

I internally groan because Loverboy really was a _loverboy._

I mean he did spend a thousand years bustling around, seeing at how other members of the Volturi are mated, I guess I can understand wanting to try that for yourself.

“Well, this is just your lucky day then huh?”

Posted 05/30/2020

Edited: 05/30/2020


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is a highway, may as well stick your head out of the window and scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated both my fics on the same day. HO YEAH!

I don’t care what anyone says, there is beauty in simplicity. Truly there is, just hear me out. You’ve had a long day at work, instead of working from 7am til’ 2pm, you don’t leave work until 7pm because of a new exhibit that’s being held in the museum you work at.

You pull a twelve-hour shift, which you kind of need after the long-distance phone calls you’ve made home to your mom but that's beside the point. Your feet are aching and you're tired.

I mean bone dead tired, because even shifters suffer from fatigue, but I digress.

You get into your apartment and the first, and I mean the first thing you do is take off your bra and throw it on the couch. You stare at it like it’s the enemy because it is. It's been holding up your tits for 12 hours and just as surely as you need a break, so too does your bra. You already feel better by letting your perky tits free and now you ponder what’s next.

So, you’re home, but and this is a big but, your stomach is rumbling but you would rather wash off the smell of dusted archives and packaging paper first. So, you crawl to your bathroom – because you’re bone tired, remember – and take a long and hot shower. You’re relaxed, you’ve washed your hair and pulled on a pair of cozy grey sweats along with an equally cozy tank top and crewneck.

Now here’s the kicker, as soon as you walk out of your bedroom from putting on lotion, because having cracked skin is a no-no, you hear your front door being knocked on – supersonic hearing of course.

You mosey on towards the door, your stomach protesting as you bypass your kitchen but that’s alright, you'll hunt for food later. You open the door and AHA!

Your Greek god lover/boyfriend/soulmate is standing before you with a plastic bag in his cold marble hands, you can already smell the pasta’s aroma slithering past your nose. You obviously kiss him on the cheek and snatch the bag away, not even bothering letting him in, because obviously he knows his way around your place.

If I weren’t a wolf, I would cry at eating pasta at 8 o’clock at night, but my metabolism is already burning away the food I’m eating and I can only laugh, because just months before I hated it. I read somewhere you shouldn’t eat after 6pm because it takes the body longer to digest and your body stores the food as fat if its isn’t digested before bed.

Well fuck the biological process of digestion I say.

My hair is sprawled all over my head, some curls hanging lose as I put it up in a messy bun.

“How’d you know I’d be home late and hungry? You read my mind, Loverboy. I ought to award you.”

I don’t know where he got this chicken alfredo from, but it is the bomb.com.org.net.gov and I’m not lying. The chef must’ve doused the noodles in butter because I feel nice and warm as the pasta melts in my mouth.

“You didn’t text me back and I figured you would be busy. Not to mention you are always hungry, so…” Demetri just shrugs but I can tell he is glad that he’s made me happy.

I think he has a praise kink, but that’s alright, so long as Loverboy keeps the pasta flowing, I’ll indulge his kink forever.

It doesn’t take me long to finish the pasta and once I’m done, I throw away the container and head back to the bathroom to floss and brush my teeth.

Walking back into the living room, I feel sated though my body is still achy, I let out a sigh of relief as I laid down on my couch.

I finally got around to ordering a DVR box set and I had flipped it on to catch up on my soap operas. Demetri sat down at the end of the couch where I laid stretched out, my feet sitting in his lap as he began massaging my feet.

Life is beautiful.

The simplicity of coming home, eating, and then getting my feet massaged is glorious fucking bliss. I looked up, away from the TV and I looked at the portrait that’s hanging on the wall. It was the painting we had gotten when we went out on our first date. That had only been a month ago, but it felt like a year, for time really did mean nothing to Demetri and I.

I couldn’t lie and say we didn’t look good with one another, even now on the couch, the way my skin compliments his. His shoulder length hair compared to my mid-back one. Demetri’s classical look compared to mine, that’s more aligned with nature. We are opposites not just from our physical looks but also our personalities.

Demetri is more serious than I am, but I can already tell my sarcasm is rubbing off on him with some of his witty remarks. We’ve fallen into some weird sort of domestic life. Just last weekend he went with me to France when I phased, it felt so much different now, the lightness that’s settled in my chest as I ran around – freedom had never felt so good. I paid a heavy price for it, risk of ex-communication from my own community but I was the kind of person who wouldn’t be caged. Not by a bunch of old geezers who held some sexist views even if my mom was on the council.

I wouldn’t change where I was at, not for a million dollars in the world – which I was sure Demetri had plenty of, millions that is. I don’t know how rich the Volturi are, but when you got the funds for your own underground castle with no one the wiser (I’m still convinced they have more humans on their payroll and it wouldn’t surprise me), a large garage filled with different sports cars and even their own hangar at an airport along with a private jet, they must be sitting on enough money to last eternity.

After our first date, that Sunday, Demetri had come back over and we talked and talked, to the point I had only gotten three hours of sleep before work. But even then, when I got off work, he was waiting for me with food and I had quickly showered so that I could eat, and we could talk some more.

I literally got a history lesson on Demetri. From the little fragmented pieces, he remembered about his human life in Greece, to being created by Amun and his time in Egypt before coming to Italy and staying with the Volturi. I was amazed, so much history in one person, my Loverboy had been born in Sparta, being there until he was bleeding out on a battlefield and Amun had come across him.

I don’t know what the Egyptian vampire saw in Demetri but I’m glad he took the chance with him, otherwise who would be sitting down next to me, massaging all the pressure points in not just my feet but also my legs? 

I should send gift basket, something along the lines of, "hey! thanks for saving Demetri. Here's a basket of O-Negative all drained from virgins. Enjoy."

There wasn’t much for me to tell in exchange, my life had been utterly simple before my shifter genes went from sleeper cells to fucking activated when Bella decided to bump uglies with Edward. I don’t hate the Cullens, not anymore – I just don’t get why everything had to be turned on its head, for Isabella freaking Swan.

I had spoken to Seth on Skype just yesterday and he raged about the upcoming wedding, asking if I’d send a gift. Yeah, I’ll send them a picture of my middle finger with pasta spilling from my mouth before I get something for Dumb and Dumber. If anything, I’d buy gifts for the rest of the Cullens because soon, Bella will be permanently a part of their life.

I try not to think about my mom and Charlie because Charlie is cool, he’s alright with his bushy mustache and my mom could do worse. Infinitely worse.

“You are thinking too loudly,” Demetri states as he stops massaging my feet but that’s alright, they no longer ache.

“M’sorry, just thinking about Forks. My brother Skyped me yesterday, talking about Bella and Edward.” I rolled my eyes but then snickered if Edward’s or Bella’s ears were burning from me talking about them.

“Ah yes, once they are wed, they are to come to Volturi to show proof Bella has been changed.” 

“Oh…just great. Bad enough Jake was panting since they were kids, now he’ll be panting after a married woman, for eternity. How lovely.” 

I can’t help but wonder if Jake knows that, I mean we all suspected that's what Bella’s endgame would be, but the idea of her and Edward showing up in Volturi to show off her new sparkly skin was already dampening my good mood.

I mean, what was Bella going to tell her mom? All her friends at Forks High? Would they just get up and move? So many questions flying through my mind and I had no answer to them.

At least I had cut away the few friends I did had, because Sam was throwing out alpha commands like they were wet willies, couldn’t tell your friend nor family that you were having an existential crisis and turned into a wolf. No sir couldn’t have that.

“Well, it’s not my problem. All Eddy boy must do is bite her and not drain her. If he can’t handle it, I’m sure Carlisle can. Supernatural self-control and compassion and all that jazz,” I state glibly as Demetri watches me with his piercing gaze.

If there were no rules, Carlisle could make some serious bank going around biting people. Vampires don’t stand up on wall but if he had a superhero outfit, he’d be like the radioactive spider. Now wouldn’t that be something, SarcastaGirl and Vampire-man team up to save the day, I laughed softly to myself at the idea.

“What are you laughing about?” Demetri is always curious about me and I wonder if he would be interested in having Aro’s power for a day, although even Aro himself looks tired at hearing everyone’s thoughts. Which is why I guess he wears gloves most of the time, who the hell wants free access to people thoughts 24/7?

“Just thinking about Carlisle biting people, like some funky superhero. Spider-man style.”

Another thing about dating a vampire, having movie nights where I essentially download the 21st century into Demetri. I mean he's modern enough, but I use a lot of cultural references and it would be nice to be on the same wavelength as him.

But we had just finished the MCU last weekend and he knows what I mean, and I get a laugh pulled from him and it feels good right down to my bones.

Demetri begins shifting on the couch, leaning closer and closer until he’s only a hair length away, his gaze undeterred as I shift uneasily in my seat. Suddenly I feel hot and I immediately discard my crewneck, which causes Demetri to lift an eyebrow as he stares down at my chest and I groan when I realize I just have a tank top on.

In my opinion it’s a crime to wear a bra around the house and I always forgo one when I am inside, but I’m tempted to snatch my crewneck back on but Demetri is quicker and it is out of my reach.

Hey, I tried.

“I know you said we should take things slow and I respect that, but may I kiss you?”

Ah.

I can feel my face and chest on fire, as though I’ve been bitten my damn self and venom is coursing through my veins.

“Of course, you don’t have to ask that.”

Demetri has been a stickler for the boundaries I set, but I am human or as human as I’ll ever be again, and rules are meant to be broken. At least these kinds of minor rules.

So, Demetri leans in, and I can already catch his scent that smells just delightful to me. Its so familiar now, even in my dreams I smell it. His lips brush against mine and just like when we held hands for the first time, its fire meeting ice before it settles into a comfortable warmth.

His slide up my legs then up my rib cage, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. Dear god, I am kissing a vampire and when my mouth opens slightly, Demetri presses his tongue against my lips before I open wider and our tongues meet.

This is it; this is the moment I die.

I just may welcome death at this moment when I feel my panties getting wet.

The wolf in me is panting, fucking howling more like it and I don’t have it in me to tell the bitch to shut the hell up. But we're both celebrating this, and my wolf is fucking smug.

When my hands fist in his hair and I crawl on top of him, pushing him into the sofa, though he follows my movements easily enough – I know there’s no going back after this.

I was damned the moment I bumped into him.

Eternal damnation be damned.

I want this, because it feels right, from the soles of my freshly massaged feet to the scalp of my head. This feeling, this bliss coursing through my body literally sings, it’s tingling, and I feel giddier than I ever have when I attempt to get drunk off alcohol.

Life was fucking good.

When Demetri hands slide up against the flesh of my rib cage, I know life is good, but this, this was fucking great.

Posted: 06/08/2020

Edited: 06/08/2020

**Author's Note:**

> Got inspired when I read Unexpected by ElijahsElena  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/9821072/chapters/22051952
> 
> Just want to keep the gravy train going with Leah being happy.
> 
> Pintrest for 'Forward March'  
> https://pin.it/4GOKIvP


End file.
